maybe I’m just a tool
a tool for happiness
a tool for comfort
a tool for affection
a selfless tool that you can use to fix what is broken

and now that you’re fixed, my purpose is done
you can lay me down like nothing has happened
you can leave me to rust, to rot like sadness
but please don’t forget that I have helped you
and I want you to know that I am now broken

Ako nanaman

Ako nanaman ang nakikita niyo

Ako nanaman ang naririnig niyo

Ako nanaman ang napapansin niyo

Ang bawat maling gawain

Ang bawat salitang madiin

Ang bawat kibo na nakakaakit

Ang mga pagkakataon na hindi niyo naibigay sa’kin

Nakita niyo rin ba yung mabuti kong gawain?

Nakita niyo rin ba kung paano ako kumain?

Nakita niyo rin ba kung paano ako mapag-isa?

Narinig niyo ba noong sinabi kong “ayoko na”?

Ang pake kong laging nasa inyo

Ang pake ko na laging nasa tao

Ang pake ko para sa inyo

May pake rin sana ako sa sarili ko

Ang sarap sana mawalan ng pake

Ang sarap sana hindi madamay

Yung tipong nagmumukha ka na ngang tanga

Ikaw pa yung tinawanan dahil gusto mo magpakamatay

Kung ako naman kaya ang nangangailangan?

Kung ako naman kaya ang may kailangan?

Kung ako naman kaya tumanggi?

Kung kaya ko lang sana tumanggi

Lagi na lang akong ganito

Lagi na lang sa akin ang epekto

Lagi na lang magtitiis

Hanggang sa mawala na lang ang hinagpis

Sana hindi na lang nagtiwala

Sana hindi na lang naniwala

Sana naintindihan niyo naman lang

Sana ako na lang

Loving you in silence was a choice I had to make
Do I shout it out loud and suffer from rejection?
Or do I hold it down and wallow from indecision?

I choose to wallow in my indecision
Because after all, the pain of not knowing
Is nothing compared to the pain
Of knowing they do not feel the same

Funny how easy it is to be real
Tell that to someone and make a deal
And violá! A trust is born!
I reckless mistake I could’ve sworn

Hey self, prove to me that you’re strong
Stronger than imbeciles who do nothing but get along
But how can I be strong for the world and myself brings me down
Please save me now, for I have a lifetime to drown

Boy oh boy it’s great to be born again
Facing another day with the same cycle, amen
I ask for forgiveness for all the things I have done
And for being myself, because being me is not fun

I never wanted this kind of pain
This devastation left me unwanted and drained
I never chose and deserved any of this
I’m sorry, O Lord God, for I can’t change